Reflections

This year is quickly coming to a close. Oh-8 was filled with lots of highs and plummeting lows. January started off with a bang. Major surgery on my girly parts and a month of recovery. February we went right into clomid and IUI which resulted in nothing. March we tried injectable drugs and IUI = FAIL! The infertility roller coaster was plummeting towards hell. April brought new hope with IVF. Lots of drugs and many mood swings later we were pregnant. 6 weeks later I had a hemorrhage, which is very common, but caused some serious bleeding. Chris and I went to Hawaii for my birthday and had a great time; little did we know I was carrying around a dead baby. I had an appointment with my OBGYN a few days after we got back from vaycay and found out the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. We spent the rest of the summer grieving the loss of our dead baby and trying to figure out what the next step should be. In October I started seeing a reproductive acupuncturist. They said to hold off on trying for 12 weeks. I have been going twice a week since October and taking lots of herbs, charting my basal body temperature and focusing on my cervical fluid. Sounds like fun, right? When I look back on 08 this is what I think of. We spent another year of our life focusing on trying to have a family and yet we are still childless, to call me bitter is an understatement.
The good thing is that Chris and I are stronger than ever. His love and support have been what has saved me over the last 12 months. I know that we can take whatever life decides to throw our way.
We had our lil Christmas celebration with our fur children last night. We gave the pups some treats and exchanged a few gifts. He gave me a really sweet card and wrote "09 is going to be our year". I really hope it is. I do know that 09 is going to bring some changes. We are moving to a new house! Chris had it built a few years ago and because of the failing market it never sold.

A friend of ours is going to rent out our house, so we will still be able to use the pool in the summer. We are super excited. A new place to start out the new year. I think it's going to be great. I have found some hope in my struggle lately. I think the therapist has really helped. I plan on sticking with her indefinetly. Here's to hoping that 2009 brings us all we want and deserve.