Holdiay Memories

I grew up in the house with my mom and grandparents. Most of you don't know this, but I'm actually an illegitimate, love child. My mom got knocked up with me when she was 23. She ran off with my dad to Puerto Rico. When she was 7 months pregnant she returned to NY to live with my grandparents. She told me when she got off the plane my grandfather commented on her weight. Cathy gained above and beyond the recommended healthy weight for a pregnant woman. I think she said she weighed in at 190 when I was born. My mom was lucky enough to have two amazing parents; the best grandparents a girl could ask for.
The holidays were always a big deal in the Santoro house. Grandpa loved food and celebrating. Grandma loved to bake; we always had fresh cookies and tea breads. Mom always took me shopping. We would go to Manhattan and look at the windows at Lord & Taylor, Saks Fifth Avenue and Macy's. I always ended up getting a few things. Clothing or toys; sometimes both. I was beyond spoiled. Most people would call it rotten. Cathy would always buy herself a few nice items too. I fell in love with the shoe department in Saks at a very young age. Shoes are still my weakness! The days leading up to Christmas were always filled with decorating the house and trimming the tree. Grandma got me an advent calendar every year, so I always counted down the 12 days of Christmas; getting more and more excited as it approached. Cathy would take me to look at all the decorated houses on Pitkin Avenue and we would get cotten candy because Christmas lights always make me hungry. Christmas eve Grandma would spend the entire day in the kitchen preparing the feast of the 7 fishes. I hated fish when I was a kid, so I spent the day complaining about the gross smell in the house. Luckily, the feast was more than fish. We usually had Italian sausage and a few pasta dishes too. After dinner I would get to open one gift. Every year it was a pair of special Christmas pajamas. They probably thought maybe I would be more excited about going to sleep if I had a new special pair of pj's, but that was never the case. I would go to bed and lay there awake for hours. Sometimes I would doze off, but not for long. Once 6am rolled around I was up pestering the rest of the family to get out of bed. They gave in and I would rush to the tree to open the ton of prezzies that waited for me. I never realized how much stuff I got until I started going through old photos. I was amazed at the pile of presents under that tree. I would spend the day playing with my toys. Christmas night we would feast again. This time on baked ziti and lasagna. More cookies and cakes for dessert. Food=love when you grow up in an Italian family.
I started thinking about all of these great memories last night when I was baking my own holiday cookies. Using my Grandma's cookie cutters. All the wonderful holiday experiences I had as a child came rushing back. My Grandma used those cookie cutters to make me hundreds of cookies over the years and I plan on using them to make hundreds more. Everytime I use them I will think of her and how much she loves me. It's bittersweet. She passed them on to me because she no longer bakes; that chapter of her life is over. I'll carry on the tradition and hopefully my cookies will come close to being as good as hers.