thoughts

The D&C was yesterday. It's done. It was quick and I don't remember much. I have been trying to wrap my head around what happened and I have had so many different thoughts. I still feel like shit, but it's getting a little easier everyday.
I think I'll head back to work next Tuesday. My friend Bobby was nice enough to tell my co-workers what happened, so I don't have to deal with any baby questions when I get back. They sent me a beautiful flower arrangement. I still haven't really talked to anyone but family. What is there to say? They say "I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say to make it better" and I sob and say "only time will make it better". I wish somebody could make it better for us, that would be easier than having to deal with all these emotions. I'm so thankful for the wonderful support system I have; all my friends (even if I'm not talking right now, I know they are thinking of us and love us), our families, and last but not least, my husband. Chris and I have been by each others side since Wednesday; going through the emotions together. I'm so thankful to have such an amazing, supportive, loving and compassionate husband. He is the best man, and I don't know what I would do without him.
It's time for a break. We need some time to heal and not think about infertility and babies. Our lives have been consumed with this journey since it began and it's time to let it go for a while. Chris and I both know we want to have a family one day, but we need a break. We are going to live our lives without this looming over us for a while. We need time to breath and think clearly, so we can figure out what step we want to take next. I'm going to continue to see my acupuncturist; to help with my painful menstrual cycles and my peace of mind.
Now it's time for a stiff drink and some herb.