goodbye

1. We had our dr. appointment this morning. Things didn't go quite as planned. The baby was measuring very small, 9 weeks 6 days and there was no heartbeat. Looks like our little cya didn't make it. We are devastated and need to mourn our loss. I'm scheduled for a d&c on Friday, since my body doesn't seem to want to have a natural miscarriage. I'm overwhelmed with emotions and questions that I know I'll never have the answers to. Dr. N said it was probably the hemorrhage that maybe caused the placenta to not fully attach. I don't know where we'll go from here. I don't know if I can go down the IVF road again. I just know that we are going to need some time to recover from this. I have never been this devastated.